Friends Are Where The Bikes Are

“Let’s go cruising.”

This is a shout-out to Jake. Beyond being a best friend of 44 years, he’s a perfect example of the archetype of this article. He was the guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer when trying to figure out what do on a Saturday night. Where is everyone? I don’t know… let’s find them. Let’s go cruising.

Mind you, this was in the glorious, tech-free 90s. You couldn’t cheat by checking social media or texting the group chat. Hell, even parents were clueless if you called to ask whether their kids were at.

So, how did you find friends? The old-school way. You drove around until you saw where the cars were in the driveway. And when you saw them, you didn’t chicken out and keep driving. You marched up to the door, knocked, and tried to get in on whatever was going down.

Old School Tactics for Generation Alpha

Kids these days have work harder to make friends.

Everything is a scheduled play date.

Parents move kids from house to house vs. letting them free-range.

It’s better in Oklahoma than in most areas. Parents are negligent, but they also aren’t helicoptering 24×7. The result is that there are safer neighborhoods where kids play in their yard and (gasp) sometimes go 2-5 houses down the road to play with other kids in their yards.

This is what I’m trying to instill in my youngest. She’s still too young for me to at least not be in eye sight for… reasons. However, every weekend I remind her that friends are where the bikes are.

So we go cruising around the neighborhood until we see a few bikes plopped in the front lawn, and then I encourage her to see if she can see or hear them. If we can’t, we knock on the door.

In the past 3-4 months, she’s made 3 new friends this way.

And there’s another pocket of kids across the neighborhood that she’s gaining more confidence with. You know, potential friends material.

Adulting

There are articles and studies on how it’s become more difficult for adults to make and sustain friendships. Add this AI bot apocalypse, and it’s just going to get worse.

But the strategy is the same.

Future friends are where the cars are. Where the bikes are. Where people are already gathering for an event or a recurring activity. You just gotta put down the phone, go cruising, and keep your eyes peeled.

And don’t be afraid to knock.